Protect Your Reputation: Lessons from Mulamwah's Public Breakup

Lack of healthy boundaries and principles in intimate relationships can turn a once-sweet love into bitter herbs.

When principles and boundaries are absent or are poorly defined by both parties involved in intimacy, the relationship may turn out to be dramatic, shameful, embarrassing and full of regrets in the long run.

The recent case of David Oyando aka 'Mulamwah' with his former lover Ruth K aka 'Bestie' highlights things people do joyously when they are deep in love, but turn out to be gravel in the mouth, as put forth by King Solomon in Proverbs 20:17, when the relationship goes sour.

The recent ordeal between the two former lovebirds was regrettable to both. The drama was so intense that they shared each other's nudes with the public through social media platforms. As if that was not enough, Ruth K accused Mulamwah of sending her private pictures to her father and other members of the family.

Principles, privacy and boundaries are important ingredients in any intimate relationship. Never allow your lover to take your nudes because you do not know how the relationship will end or even who may access them accidentally.

People lose phones that we use to take the nudes. Who knows in whose hands the phone will land after losing it? 

Let your lover access your nudity as long as you are together, and there should be no future records for the same. 

In the era of the internet, which never forgets, we find ourselves doing silly things that are likely to affect us and our loved ones for the rest of our lives.

For instance, the two lovers discussed here have a son who is a toddler today. What will happen to him when he is a teenager viewing his parents' nudes on the internet?

What will happen when this boy is mingling with his friends in school, and every time, they will be reminding him of his parents' nudes online?

Nevertheless, Ruth K is a teacher by profession. Which student will accord her student–teacher respect when her nudes are all over the internet? 

Mulamwah and Ruth K are public figures who have initially used the internet to earn a living, but today the same internet is 'eating' them. 

We should also learn that the internet is an important tool which can transform lives in an impactful way, but only when used properly. Once misused, the same internet can turn out to be a monster and swallow the user.

Young people need to learn and understand the importance of principles, privacy and boundaries in intimate relationships. We need to learn from past generations who lived without the internet.

Before the onset of the internet, privacy and boundaries were observed through physical and social structures like homes, spaces, social norms, among others. 

Couples put clear boundaries around personal space, and they respected each other's need for solitude. Respect was highly accorded to personal belongings like private letters and photos, and open communication about feelings and needs was highly recommended. 

The break-up between Mulamwah and Ruth K offers us numerous lessons about intimate relationships, especially in the public eye.

They include;

• Privacy and boundaries in emotional matters are important.
• There is a high chance that online drama will escalate conflict.
• Mutual respect is important in any intimate relationship.
• Social media can be a blessing and a curse at the same time.

Remember, you and your partner are solely responsible for your relationship. Choose how you want to view it in the future, whether it lasts or ends.