Modern Love: How Situationships Took Over Dating Culture

We keep inventing romantic words for old problems: ghosting, breadcrumbing, and now “situationships,” that middle-ground romance most of us pretend is modern and convenient but secretly leaves a lot of people wondering what exactly they just signed up for.

Academics who studied the term describe a situationship as a romantic connection in which couples behave like couples through affection, time together, and sometimes sexual relations, but without the clarity of labels or commitments that mark traditional relationships.

In short, it looks like romance, but it does not carry the receipt.

Why are they everywhere? Part of the answer is technological. Dating apps have compressed courtship into a buffet of choices and instant gratification. 

These platforms, designed for swiping and speed, encourage casual short-term encounters and make long-term commitment feel like just one option among many. That shift in how we meet has created more “in-between” arrangements: partners who spend weekends together but never decide if “we” is a thing.

That ambiguity is not just trivia; it is widespread. Research suggests roughly half of people aged 18 to 29 report having been involved in a situationship at some point.

This is not a tiny cultural blip but a generational pattern. For many, situationships are practical: busy lives, uncertain economic futures, and a desire to keep emotional risk on a leash.

For others, what starts as casual ease turns into prolonged limbo, with emotional investment but without the reciprocity or future people expect from committed relationships.

We should also be honest about the emotional fallout. Research on casual dating and hookup culture paints a mixed picture.

Some people may find short-term boosts to self-esteem or sexual freedom, but studies have found links between casual sexual relationships and higher levels of anxiety, depression, and regret among many young adults.

The takeaway is not moralizing; it is empirical. Ambiguous romantic ties can be fun for some and harmful for others, depending on expectations, power dynamics, and communication.

At the same time, there is a cultural pivot happening. A significant number of Gen Z daters are tired of perpetual limbo.

Many young people, contrary to the stereotype of commitment-phobia, say they want clearer, more intentional relationships and are pushing back against swipe-and-ghost culture.

Being constantly available but emotionally undefined is losing its shine for a surprising number of daters.

So where does that leave us? For writers and readers who love a good hot take, the situationship is a perfect villain: tech-enabled, lazily ambiguous, and rampant. The smarter take, however, is subtler.

Situationships are partly a symptom of dating apps, busier lives, and economic uncertainty, and partly a choice, sometimes mutual and sometimes one-sided.

The remedy is not nostalgia for a mythic “old” dating era, but clearer communication and negotiated expectations. Labeling, even through a simple and slightly awkward talk, reduces confusion and harm.

People who state what they want and listen to what the other person wants tend to avoid the worst outcomes of ambiguity.