The Great Kenyan Dry-Out: Is This the End of Happy Hour?

Your favourite cold drink just became the hottest illegal commodity in town! In a bold move to curb alcohol abuse, the government has slapped a ban on booze sales in more places than you can count on your fingers and toes combined.

According to the National Policy for the Prevention, Management & Control of Alcohol, Drugs & Substance Abuse, alcohol sales are officially outlawed in supermarkets, home deliveries, restaurants, residential areas, online platforms, and – wait for it – public beaches and amusement parks. So if you were planning a sunny afternoon with your favourite drink by the ocean, think again!

But that’s not all. The crackdown stretches to schools, universities, petrol stations, public transport, medical facilities, and even sports arenas. If you can think of a spot where Kenyans love to relax with a drink, it’s on the blocklist. Hawkers and vending machines? Banned. Your favourite bus park joint? Closed. Even toy shops selling kids’ items can’t stock alcohol because, well, you know Kenya.

The big question now: where can you have a drink? Rumour has it that the last haven might be your imagination—because that’s the only place the law hasn’t reached yet!

While some citizens are cheering this as a life-saving move, others are staring at their fridges like long-lost lovers. Weekend plans are being rewritten faster than a DJ switching tracks at a dry wedding. Could this be the end of “one for the road”? Or will Kenyans turn to mocktail parties and coffee dates to fill the void?

One thing is sure: for Kenyans who love their drink, this is the ultimate test of patience and creativity. So next time you think of grabbing a cold one, make sure you’re not in any of the 20+ banned zones – or risk becoming the headline of tomorrow’s news!