• Instead of recognizing her achievements as a testament to her character and upbringing, some families see it as an opportunity to demand a higher dowry, equating her education to an investment that must be reimbursed.

In many African cultures, dowry payment is a long-standing tradition that signifies appreciation and respect. When a man and a woman decide to marry, it is filled with joy, hope, and the promise of a shared future. However, for many couples, the journey from engagement to marriage is met with an obstacle—dowry negotiations.

Traditionally, after a man proposes, he meets his future in-laws to understand their expectations and fulfil the necessary customs to make his beloved wife. But what should be a heartfelt tradition has often turned into a transactional process, especially when the woman has pursued higher education.

Instead of recognizing her achievements as a testament to her character and upbringing, some families see it as an opportunity to demand a higher dowry, equating her education to an investment that must be reimbursed.

This presents a dilemma: what happens when a man, though deeply in love, does not have the financial means to meet the demands? Should love be held hostage by financial expectations?

Can the woman respectfully intervene and advocate for her future husband without appearing to undermine tradition or devalue herself? This conversation is difficult in cultures where brides are discouraged from interfering in dowry negotiations.

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Some relatives, seeing an opportunity for personal gain, make excessive demands, turning what should be a meaningful appreciation into a burdensome transaction. This shift distorts the essence of dowry—it is not meant to be a means for wealth accumulation but rather a token of gratitude for raising a woman with values and principles that make her an excellent partner.

Fortunately, some families uphold a more enlightened approach. Instead of treating their daughter as a commodity, they focus on her happiness and well-being. The father, in particular, may set clear expectations on how his daughter should be treated in marriage but chooses not to impose financial strain on the groom. This honourable approach preserves the dignity of all parties involved and strengthens the foundation of love and respect between families.

At its core, dowry should remain a symbol of appreciation, not a price tag. When families prioritize love over financial gain, true unity is fostered. In the end, love should not be delayed or denied by monetary constraints. Love should triumph, and when it does, everyone wins.